


Scouts Ward

by landofbutts



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Bipolar Disorder, Delusions, Eating Disorders, M/M, Medical Jargon, OCD, Paranoia, Psychosis, Schizophrenia, Some angst, it will have fluff in it, its not going to be as angsty as it sounds, mental health, mental health done right, psychiatry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-11-03 10:49:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10965702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/landofbutts/pseuds/landofbutts
Summary: "There were these giants- I got told that they were on their way to eat everyone. No one would listen to me.""And who told you this, Eren?" Dr Smith spoke up, just as soft however he had more of an authoritative air about him."The men in the walls." Eren spoke quietly, biting his lip.--Eren's admitted into an acute psychiatric ward and naturally, he hates it. But soon he makes friends, and tries to get close to the one patient everyone tries to avoid.





	1. Risperidone

**Author's Note:**

> this fic will deal with sensitive topics involving mental health. I will always put a tw before the chapter if it involves anything that might trigger someone

"Hello Eren, my names Petra and I'm your named nurse. This here is Dr. Smith, one of the doctors on the ward. He'll be helping with your admission, if that's alright?" The blonde woman spoke softly, looking across to Eren with a polite smile on her face. 

She seemed nice, very nice. But Eren could never be too sure. That's how people got you. They were nice, and then they turned on you. For all Eren knew, she could be working with the people who were out to get him. 

"Okay." Eren gave a small nod, frowning slightly as he looked around the room. 

It was a small area they were in, the nurse mentioned it being a 'family' room. It had a sofa in, which Eren was perched on, and across from that were two seats. Petra currently had a notepad in her hand, and Dr. Smith had a series of forms in his hand. 

"Now Eren you were brought in on a section 2, do you understand what that means?" Petra asked softly. When Eren shook his head she continued speaking. "It means you're admitted to hospital to get a proper assessment of your mental health. You'll be a formal patient here for twenty eight days under review, which means you won't be able to leave the ward unless you're escorted okay?" She checked that Eren understood. 

Eren didn't reply, just simply nodded as he watched her. He wasn't up for talking, and didn't really understand why he had to be here. He had so many things to do, and so many people _needed_ him right now. They needed him to save them. 

"Good. Now Eren dear, can you please explain what happened leading up to you coming here?" Petra asked him with a comforting smile. 

Eren frowned as he looked back at her, pausing to think for a few moments. "I don't really remember much." He started, shaking his head. "Well I remember I just don't know why I'm here. I tried to help everyone in town-" Eren told her, moving to start itching at his arm. "And no one would listen to me." 

"What were you trying to help them with?" 

"There were these giants- I got told that they were on their way to eat everyone. No one would listen to me." 

"And who told you this, Eren?" Dr Smith spoke up, just as soft however he had more of an authoritative air about him. 

"The men in the walls." Eren spoke quietly, biting his lip. 

Petra gave him a soft smile, jotting that down and catching Eren's attention. "I don't know if they're still coming but-" Eren shrugged. 

"That's fine, Eren. We're safe on the ward okay? No one can get to you in here." She told him softly with a smile. 

"But they're giants, they can smash through walls." Eren tried reasoning with her. 

"Eren dear they won't, don't worry. There are no giants okay? Nothing is coming to get you or anyone else." Petra told him softly. 

"But the men wouldn't lie to me." 

"Have they spoken to you before?" Dr Smith asked him. "The men?" He prompted. 

Eren nodded, biting his lip lightly. "Yeah, they spoke to me when I was younger." Eren told them both. "And then, after that we had a house fire. I didn't listen to them, that's why we had it." He said quietly. 

"So what do they usually tell you?" 

"They tell me when something bad is going to happen." Eren told them quietly. "So I try to listen to them to stop it from happening." 

Petra gave a soft sigh at that, feeling for him. Eren was suffering with psychosis. It was never easy, and Eren was very ill right now. Which was why they were here to help them. 

Petra worked on an acute psychiatric ward in Trost hospital, where Eren was admitted. He had never been to this hospital before. He had been admitted to one in the past, but that was an informal stay, meaning he wasn't sectioned. Eren had volunteered to go seeing as his sister had practically begged him. This time however he was brought in by the police. 

"Are you on any medication, Eren?" Petra asked him softly. 

"Um- yeah." Eren nodded, glancing down at her notepad. "I'm on risperidone." He told her quietly, biting his lip. 

"Have you been taking it, Eren?" She asked him softly. 

Eren gave a small nod and looked off to the side. She knew he was lying. Petra had checked his records before he had been brought in, and it was clear that he had been off them for sometime. Which was probably why his symptoms were coming back. 

"And have you taken any illicit substances recently or alcohol?" Petra asked him softly. 

Eren paused as he thought before shaking his head. "No. My mum is against drugs so I try and stay away from it all." Eren told her. 

Petra smiled at that and noted that down. "Good! Smart woman your mother." She said with a small giggle. 

Eren just smiled softly and looked down, playing with his hands a little nervously. He kept glancing around the room and out the window, hoping to be let out soon. Very soon. He still had plenty of people to save and little time. 

"Now Eren one thing about these men in the walls-" Petra started, earning his attention again. "Do you hear or see them?" She asked him. 

Eren shook his head at that, giving a small frown. "No, they won't let me." He told her. "I just know what they want me to do." He explained to her. 

"Okay." She smiled softly. 

"Eren-" Dr Smith started, Eren's eyes shifting to him. "I'm going to keep you on risperidone for this week okay? And I want you to make sure you're taking it. I'm also going to write you up some lorazepam, that's helped you in the past yes?" He asked softly. When Eren nodded he simply continued. "That'll be your PRN medication so you can request that at any time okay? But you need to take your risperidone daily." He explained to Eren. 

"Ok." Eren said quietly. 

"Now, how's your appetite? Growing lad, you must be eating well?" 

"Oh, yeah." Eren gave a small smile and nodded. "I have to, for my training." He told them both. 

"Training?" Petra asked with a small smile. 

"Yeah, to fight the giants. Well, I call them Titans. It's easier that way." He explained to them. Petra smiled and nodded, jotting that down. 

"And are you getting enough sleep?" She asked softly. 

"Um- I think?" Eren frowned slightly, squinting a little in concentration. "It takes me a long time to get to sleep, I don't really sleep till about three am." He told them both. 

"Any reasons why?" Dr Smith prompted him to elaborate. 

"I don't know." Eren shrugged. "I just get really like- agitated-" Eren explained, scrunching his hands a little as he did. "And I can't settle and rest." 

"Okay." Dr Smith hummed and nodded. "Well I'll be back on the ward this Friday and we'll talk then yeah? We'll review your sleep and if you still can't get to rest without any techniques I'm sure Petra will go through with you, we'll look at some sleeping tablets okay? I'm just a little reluctant to put you on so much at once." The doctor explained with a smile. 

"Okay." Eren nodded. "Will I be here on Friday?" He asked the two of them. 

"Yes, Eren you will be." Petra started with a nod. 

She was about to continue before she heard an alarm go off, followed by people rushing past the door. She stood up and put the notepad down, Eren's eyes going wide and looking around. 

"I've got this." Petra said to Dr Smith as she passed him, heading out into the hallway. 

As she opened the door all that could be heard was shouting, Petra running straight to the commotion from another patient. 

The ward they were on was a secure unit, and in turn could be quite dangerous. Patients often kicked off, and in worst cases had to be restrained. Nurses and staff wore alarms just in case of emergencies, like when a patient was thrashing out or they were in danger. It might not even be thrashing out, if a patient was found attempting suicide, an alarm was pulled to get immediate assistance. It was hard, but it happened. 

"What's that noise?" Eren asked, looking out the small window in the door. 

"It's the alarm systems, it'll shut off in a moment." Dr Smith explained softly. "It just means the staff are required on an area of a ward with another patient." He told Eren. 

"Now Eren," He continued. "I'm going to wrap this up so when Petra comes back she can show you to your room okay? I know your sister is your next of kin and she's been contacted and is going to bring some clothes and belongings in tomorrow for you." He told Eren with a smile. 

"Who?" Eren asked, cocking his head. "Mikasa?" His face lightened up a little at this. 

"Yes, Mikasa." Dr Smith smiled and nodded. "For now if you would like to go with our student nurse she'll do your obs while Petra's occupied okay?" Dr Smith said and stood up. 

"Okay." Eren smiled and nodded, moving to stand up himself. 

Eren ended up shaking hands with Dr Smith – who he found out was called Erwin – before heading out into the hallway. He looked down the hallway and directly into the lounge area, where a small number of staff were trying to talk to one of the other patients. The other patient was small – hilariously so compared to some of the staff. It made Eren wonder why an alarm was needed for someone. But it was clear he was the one making the commotion. Petra was trying to calm him while he shouted at her, and good on her because he was a good few centre metres away from her face while shouting and she barely flinched. 

The whole presence of the other man just sent a shiver down Eren's spine, and he knew he had to get out of here. He didn't belong here. He wasn't ill, and he definitely didn't like people shouting. It got him nervous, and reminded him of memories he'd rather not remember. 

Eren was pulled out of his thoughts when a small girl with black hair in bunches lead him into the clinic room. He engaged in small talk with her while she took his blood pressure, just asking about her and what it was like on the ward. It wasn't much longer before Petra came into the clinic and apologised for leaving his admission early. 

After his observations were taken he was shown around the ward. The black haired man was no where to be seen, and Eren asked where he had gone. Petra explained that the man was in his room and was best to be left alone for the time being. 

Eren's room was directly down the hallway. At the lounge area it split off into two corridors, both left and right. Down the left side there were seven bedrooms and three bathrooms. Along there there was also a seclusion room and a 'quiet' room, which Eren really didn't like the look of. Down the right corridor it had the same layout as the left, although instead of a seclusion room and a quiet room there was a meeting room. Petra explained that patients saw the consultant in this room, and he would be seen this Friday by Dr Smith. 

Next to the lounge there was the dining room, and attached to the dining room there was an activities room. Eren didn't really like the look of it though. 

Eren tried to avoid looking at anyone else and just focused on Petra and getting the basic layout of the ward. He was shown where the office was and told to come and knock on the door if he ever needed anything if he couldn't find anyone out of the office. 

Eventually he was lead to his room and left to his own devices. It wasn't too bad. It had a nice view of the city from his window, however his window was locked shut. It was very bare and very white. He hated it, he soon decided. It was complete with a chair, desk, bed and wardrobe. However the wardrobe was locked and he was required to ask for the key everytime he wanted to go into it. Already he could tell this would be exhausting. 

Eren just wanted to go home.


	2. Flupentixol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up for this chapter on some terms-
> 
> PRN means medication as and when needed, rather than daily.  
> CAMHS is Child and Adolescence Mental Health Service in England, not sure where else it is.  
> Zopiclone is a medication to help sleep, but wears off after a few days of use. :)

Eren had decided pretty early on that he hated this hospital. He hated the room he was given and he hated the ward. Eren had decided that pretty much the moment after he was admitted. He liked Petra, she was nice to him. He was a little unsure of Dr Smith, but that was because he was sure the doctor didn't believe him. 

Eren wasn't ill, to him. Everything he said - to him was real. The idea of these giants that he called Titans coming to attack everyone. Take his friends and his family. It was terrifying, and what was frustrating him was that they all believed he was ill. Eren knew that he had psychotic episodes, and had done in the past. They were still working on an official diagnosis for him, trying to rule out certain illnesses before being official. Eren knew that he had been in hospital before, he remembers getting out as if it was yesterday. What he didn't remember was the start of his previous admission, which didn't help in feeding his paranoid thoughts. 

Like most nights Eren couldn't sleep, and that didn't change on his first night on the ward. His room to him wasn't safe. It was overlooking the better part of a forest that was just behind the hospital. Maybe he'd ask Petra for a change of room, because he sure as hell wasn’t going to be staying next to a forest. That was the prime place for Titans to be hiding. 

That night Eren had stayed up till three am, sitting in the lounge area. He spent that time either trying to read, or simply sitting there getting lost in his thoughts. One of the nurses that was on the night shift - Eld or something - kept coming out and checking on him. Trying to encourage him to go to bed and sleep. But Eren was too lost in his thoughts to sleep, and he felt safer in the lounge than he did his room. 

Eren even saw the man from earlier wandering around. He avoided his gaze whenever the man passed the lounge. The nurses appeared to be getting quite irritated by the man. He was constantly knocking on the office door and trying to talk to them, only to be sent away to try and sleep. Then he'd wander around the ward, and honestly Eren kept away from him. He sat in the quite comfortable chair and tried his best to relax his mind. The man had freaked him out a little earlier on, and how he'd been mean to Petra. Eren decided he didn't really like the man. 

This continued for the first few nights. Eren sitting in the lounge and avoiding the man that wandered around the ward. During the day time it wasn't too bad. It was a routine, and Eren liked routines. Medication at 8am, followed by breakfast. Dinner was at 12, and at this time the nurses came out to eat with them all. Eren had taken a liking to Petra. She was his named nurse and done his admission process, but she also had a kind face. Whenever she wasn't on shift he found himself being a lot more cautious of the nurses. After dinner he would sit in the lounge, avoiding his room at all costs really. He'd engage in chat with any nurses or assistants, but he had little contact with any of the other patients. Especially the man with black hair. 

Eren came to learn that his name was Levi. It suited the man, really, but it didn't help in making him like him any more. He was scary, to Eren. Strong and looked like he could rip a man to pieces. Rip a _Titan_ to pieces, and that was saying something. Sometimes he wasn't too bad. He was nearly constantly wandering around the ward, especially on a night time. During the day there would be times where he wasn't around, Eren assuming he was in his room. But when he was wandering around he'd nearly always be by the nurses office. Either knocking on the door and requesting to talk to someone or trying to get a hold of Doctor Erwin. 

Tea time was at 5pm. Eren didn't have lunch medication, so this was the next thing. Unfortunately tea time clashed with the 5pm meds, which he soon found out all of the nice sandwiches were snatched up pretty rapidly if you were trying to please the nurses by lining up for meds. After this it was free time until 10pm medication. Honestly, if you told Eren this would be the routine he had to do he would've thought he'd lose his mind just by being in a confined space. He wasn't ill, to him, of course not. But all of the free time he had he was thinking. He was writing. Writing letters to his family – his sister in particular – telling them everything they had to do to stay safe. How to kill the titans, where to hide from them. _How_ to hide from them. Though Eren wasn't too convinced you could really hide from them. 

At the moment he was sitting in the lounge, chewing his lips as he listened to the silence of the ward. No TV, no radio. No other patients talking and no hustle and bustle of the nurses. Yet he still refused to go to his room to sleep there. He hadn't brought up the fact that he disliked seeing the forest, knowing that if he told the nurses they'd tell him he had nothing to worry about. But he _did_. He knew that he did. 

"Oi." 

Eren practically jumped out of his skin, giving a small squeak in shock as he was pulled from his thoughts. "W-W- Me?" Eren stammered, widening his eyes as he stared at the small man in the lounge doorway. 

Immediately his heart rate picked up. He could practically feel the sweat building on his palms. _It's fine._ He told himself. _I'm safe._

"Yeah, you." The man – Levi – replied. "Have you seen my cat?" He asked. 

That took Eren by surprise. Though, he didn't know what shocked him more. The fact that there was apparently a cat on the ward(?) or the fact that the man was wearing bright yellow trousers, a black tank top and at least two hoodies. 

"Um- no?" Eren frowned as he looked around. 

"Fuck." Levi frowned in reply, narrowing his eyes slightly and searching around the room with his gaze. As if he was on edge. "I last had it in here. I swear I saw it before. It's black, or grey, or I think both you know? One eyes green and even sometimes blue but-" 

"Levi." Another male voice sounded, a young male around the same age as Eren coming up to the side of him. "I think I saw it scuttle off down towards the family room." He told him, a small smirk on his features. 

Levi turned to the new man. Eren didn't know his name. He didn't need to know his name, as he wasn't in here to make friends. He didn't know why he was even in here, but he was getting out soon he knew that much. 

"My cat doesn't scuttle." Levi deadpanned. 

The other man – or more like boy – let out a laugh and grinned. "What does it do then? Slink?" He teased him. Eren didn't know if the man was mad or had a death wish. 

Then he remembered he was in a mental ward, so probably both. 

"No." Levi shook his head, apparently unphased by the teasing. Or oblivious to it. "If you were smart enough you'd know cats don’t scuttle. Cuttle fish scuttle. Or is is cuttle that's killed? No that's cattle-" Levi frowned as he spoke his thoughts, looking down to the floor before back up to the man. "My cat walks." He got to the point, his speech slightly pressured as he crossed his arms. 

"Walks? As if on two feet?" 

"Yes." 

Well then. That was new. Eren had never seen a cat walk on two feet like a human before. Then again, the world was currently slowly being invaded by Titans, so he guessed anything was possible. 

"Of course-" The man laughed, about to continue before the nurses office door opened. 

Eren visibly relaxed, shifting slightly on the sofa to cross his legs underneath him. If anything, he was glad for the distraction from his thoughts. 

"Boys-" One of the nurses stepped out, what was her name? No, she wasn't the nurse she was one of the nice assistants. Hitch. "It's two am, shouldn't you lot be asleep?" 

"Levi's looking for his cat." The man grinned, nodding to Levi. 

Levi, in turn just hummed and nodded quickly in agreement. "I saw it in the lounge." 

"I thought you had a dog?" Hitch questioned him, walking forward to join the small group huddled by the door. Eren simply watched from the sofa, not willing to stand up and intervene. 

"I do." Levi said before frowning. "I think- I did. Didn't I bring my cat here?" He looked between the lot of them. 

Eren practically froze when his gaze landed on him. The raven lingered on him more than the other two. He could tell immediately. Why- Eren didn't know. He didn't want to think why. Eren didn't steal his cat, didn’t steal anything. Maybe the man knew about the Titans? He hadn't heard from the men in the walls in a few days. Well, they weren't men. Eren knew that they weren't men, but he simply refused to believe the truth. 

"We're on a ward. You're in hospital, remember?" Hitch told him softly. 

"Yes." The raven responded, as if she was stating the obvious. Technically, she was. 

"And do you think we would allow cats on the ward?" 

"Yes." Levi nodded, earning a small laugh from the other man. 

"Jean." Hitch snapped lightly. "Go on, you get to bed." She waved her hands at him, as if to shoo him. 

"'m not tired." Jean shrugged, slipping his hands into his pyjama bottom pockets. 

"Do you need some PRN?" 

"Nah I had some zopiclone but it's not been working recently." Jean shook his head at her. "I'm just gonna chill for a bit. You know, make some friends like you told me to." He said cheekily with a smirk. 

"Yeah make friends, Jean," Hitch laughed lightly. "But not at 2am." 

"Prime time my dear! The weirdos are out at this time." He joked with a grin. 

"You're all weirdos." Hitch responded, crossing her arms with a grin. 

"Says the girl who wants to work with weirdos. Nothing weirder than that." Jean teased as he made his way further into the lounge. 

Eren couldn't help but widen his eyes at that. Fuck- why was he coming in here? 

"Shush you." Hitch replied before turning her attention back to Levi. "Come on, let's get you to bed." She said with a soft smile. 

"Not tired either." Levi mumbled, a frown slowly forming on his face. However it was more out of concentration than anger. 

"Yeah yeah mister, you always say that then end up falling asleep in the dining room. And what are you doing in your jeans? They're blinding!" She spoke as she slowly lead Levi down the corridor. Their conversation slowly came a distant murmer as they travelled away. 

Eren attention was on the door, watching and listening out until it was snapped up by the sudden shift in weight on the sofa. He turned to face the other boy – Jean? - with slightly wide eyes. 

"Crazy, isn't he. He isn't normally like this." 

Eren frowned at the word 'crazy'. It wasn't a nice word. Eren had been called that before, and fuck he hated it. 

"He isn't crazy." He snapped back at him. "I don't know what he is but he isn't crazy." He huffed at him. 

Jean raised an eyebrow at him as he lifted his legs up onto the coffee table to rest his feet. "Sorry- sorry." He said, shaking his head. "Didn't mean it seriously." He mumbled under his breath, letting his head fall back to stare at the ceiling. 

Eren gave a small huff as he shuffled position. He rested back against the arm of the sofa, pulling his legs up to his chest and half curling up on himself. 

"He's not normally like that." Jean started, shaking his head. "Known him a little while when I was in CAMHS. Nice guy when he's not off on one." 

Eren listened to him, chewing his lip lightly and frowning. He glanced over to Jean, taking in his appearance a little. "What's he normally like?" He asked quietly. 

"Scary." Jean said with a laugh. 

"So he is normal!" Eren half snapped with a frown. 

"No." Jean snapped straight back at him, shaking his head. "He's scary, and talks a lot less. Keeps to himself. Think I heard one of the nurses say he has bipolar, though." Jean explained. 

Frowning, Eren shook his head and looked away. "I don't think you should be telling me this." He said quietly. It felt _wrong_ , learning about Levi's situation from someone who wasn't him. 

Jean simply shrugged in reply. "Do you not find it interesting?" 

"No." Eren mumbled, curling up on himself even more. 

Jean sighed, switching his gaze from the ceiling over to Eren. "So." He started after a pregnant pause. "What you in here for?" 

Eren tensed slightly at the question. His privacy in the lounge was getting intruded upon and he didn't like it. The lounge was his only safe space in the ward that he could find. The windows looked out to the hospital, not the forest. "Um-" Eren started, a frown on his features. "Dunno. They won't let me out." 

"Ah." Jean gave a small nod and looked back up to the ceiling. "Why won't they let you out? You a risk to yourself and all that shit?" 

"Yeah. Something like that." Eren gave a small frown, sighing. When Jean didn't press further, he relaxed back again into the sofa. 

It would've been polite to ask Jean what he was in for too. Or would it? That might've pressed into Jean's privacy, and if he was like Eren he wouldn't like that. Instead of doing so, Eren got lost in his thoughts again. How on earth could he be a risk to himself? Or others? Eren hated that phrase. He wasn't a risk to himself. Eren didn't want to harm himself, nor did he have any suicidal thoughts. He didn't want to harm others. He wanted to _protect_ them. Vastly so. That was all he wanted to do, and they were stopping him from doing so in here. His family were out there. His friends. Fuck- 

"Come on, Eren, bed for you too." 

Hitch's voice brought him back out of his worries. He didn't want to go to bed. Didn't want to move from the lounge. But equally, right now he was feeling tired. He didn't want to sleep because that meant wasted time in writing everything down. His body was calling for sleep – he was physically exhausted. Mentally, he was wide awake. Fuck, mentally he was high on caffeine, adrenaline and everything in between. 

"Can-" Eren started, glancing over to Jean briefly. He still had his head laid back against the sofa, though his eyes were now closed. "Can you shut my curtains for me, please?" He looked back to Hitch, slowly shuffling to the end of the sofa before standing. 

Making his way over to her, he relaxed at her soft smile and started to follow her down the hallway. 

"Of course I will." Hitch nodded. "How come you don't want to do it yourself?" 

"I um-" Eren shook his head. "It's stupid." 

"Nothing is stupid." Hitch replied with a soft grin. 

"My window, I can see the forest." He started explaining, his hands moving to play with the bottom of his top. But he kept his gaze forward. Watching and looking around the hallway, trying to notice anything out of place. Any movement. "Titan's are mostly hidden in the forest because of the trees." He told her. 

Hitch gave a small 'ah' and nodded as they came to his room. "Well remember, Eren, trees are very close together in forests aren't they?" 

"Yes?" Eren didn’t catch on to what she was getting at. 

"So if there was anything big in the forest, you should be able to hear any trees moving right?" She said softly. 

"Ah-" Eren frowned in though, looking off to the wall. "Yeah." He said slowly. 

Smiling, Hitch went into Eren's room and shut his curtains for him. Making sure there were no gaps on either side or the middle. If it helped him sleep, then she would do it. 

Once she came back out, she held the door open for Eren to head in. "I'll see you in the morning, yeah?" 

Eren nodded as he moved into his room, turning on the big light and glancing around. Taking in everything. It was all the same. Everything was how he left it. The pen on his desk, the papers sticking out of his drawer from the rush of stuffing them away. Hiding them. He bet if he looked under the bed his book would be there too. No one had been in his room. 

"Okay." Eren turned slightly, biting his lip. "Can-" He stopped. 

"Yes?" Hitch gave a small smile. 

"There are no, like, cameras are there?" He asked, glancing around to the corners of his walls. "I know you can't tell me but." He mumbled quietly as he frowned. 

Smiling softly, Hitch shook her head. "No, Eren, there are no camera's. We're a hospital, okay? We aren't allowed to put cameras in your room. Nothing of the sort. The only cameras on the ward are the ones I pointed out to you in the hallways okay?" She told him softly. 

"Okay." Eren let out a small breath, nodding. They were a hospital. They weren't allowed to do that. Weren't allowed. 

"Goodnight, Hitch." 

"Goodnight." 

Eren gave her a soft, small smile as he watched the door shut. Leaving him alone with his thoughts and the hope of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you've enjoyed reading!!
> 
> There will be more of Levi and Eren interaction, and I'm thinking more fluff for the time being. Smut will come on in later chapters, but that'll be when the two are mentally healthier rather than vulnerable like right now. 
> 
> Levi is OOC, I know he is. People who are experiencing episodes like he is in these first few chapters are not their normal personalities. He will have more of his own traits as the story goes on.
> 
> Any feedback is welcome! <3


	3. Aripiprizole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we delve a little more into Eren's delusions, he makes a new friend and levi returns!

It was Friday, and Eren had currently been on the ward for a total of four days. It didn't feel like four days. It felt like much longer, however much shorter at the same time. It was horrible. It felt like he was being kept here against his will. Like time was moving too quickly while he was in here. Yet at the same time it was moving far _too slowly_. Which to Eren was bad, because being in here meant less time out there saving his family. His friends. 

Petra was on the ward today, which he was pleased about. He got very little sleep again last night, only getting about three hours. Not because he had insomnia – honestly, Eren loved sleep like any other young person. But his mind was working far too much at this moment in time. 

Eren hadn't had much more interaction with Levi since the other night. Mostly because he was avoiding the man. The last thing he wanted to do was get in a fight because the raven thought he stole his cat. Eren never did find out if he managed to catch it, but from the way Hitch was speaking, he doubted it was on the ward. 

Right now, Eren was sitting in the lounge. It was currently two in the afternoon, and most of the patients were out on an activity. Eren wasn't allowed out, something about having to see the doctor first. He didn't really pay attention to the explanation. 

Since he was alone in the lounge – thankfully Jean decided to leave him be and go out rather than disturb him – he was curled up on the sofa scribbling away in his little blue book. He had to try and get down as much information as he could. 

_Cut them in the neck. That's the only way to kill them._

_Make sure they don't grab you, that's the worst scenario._

_Don't let them get your family, Eren._

They told him. _They_ being the voices. What he called the men in the walls. He had never seen these men, but they had told him that's where they were. Now these voices, they weren't thoughts. They weren't impulsive or intrusive thoughts. They were clear as day voices. He could hear them just as clearly as he could hear his sister, or even Petra. They had their own tone of voice. Volume. Sometimes they were male, sometimes they were female. 

Most of the time, from the stuff they told him, Eren trusted them. They were looking out for him, so they said. Told him what was coming. Who was coming to hurt him. They warned him about events. The last time he had ignored them, been told that they weren't real, the event they warned him about actually happened. 

In retrospect, when Eren was well, he could realise that the voices couldn't have changed anything. His voices and the event had nothing in common other than what actually happened. 

The annoying thing about them, though, was when Eren was well he still heard them. They were quieter, and less apparent. He could distract himself a lot better when he was well and had learnt to ignore them. However they became violent. Told him how his family were going to die. How he was going to die. How people were out to get him. They told him all of these things, and the more he believed them, the more they tried to help. It was like a vicious cycle at times. 

Resting back into the sofa, he rubbed his head, feeling a headache coming on. The voices were particularly bad today. Loud and more constant. It was most likely because he was nervous about meeting this doctor again. He felt like he had to write down everything they said. Everything they told him. But there was not enough time. 

_Not enough time._

 

-x- 

 

"Hey, Eren?" A voice sounded from the lounge door. It was the student nurse from his admission. He had seen her around the ward, but he himself didn't really want to engage with her too much. "It's your ward round now, Dr. Smith's ready." 

"Okay." Eren said quietly, closing his book and using the wrap to make sure it's secure. "Um- can I go put this away first?" He asked, standing up and moving towards her. 

"Yeah of course." The student gave a soft grin. "What is it?" She asked. 

She was only being polite. Eren, deep down, he knew that she was. Taking an interest and trying to be nice and talk about whatever he liked. Just making casual conversation as they slowly walked to his room. But he didn't see it that way. Although he wanted to believe it, deep down he assumed she was trying to get his notes. Trying to get them to grass him up to the doctors. They'd take it off him. Tell him it was all fake and destroy it. He couldn't have that. He couldn't. 

"Nothing important." Eren mumbled in reply, frowning slightly. 

When it was obvious he wasn't going to give anymore, the student just smiled and looked forward instead of at him. The moment they reached his room he moved in for a moment and placed it on his chair. He purposely hid it under some jumpers. Later on he'd hide it back under his mattress, because he didn't trust the student not to watch where he was putting it. 

Once he was happy with the fact no one other than him and the student would know where it was, he headed back out and shut his door behind them. They walked in silence to the meeting room where the ward rounds took place. All it was was a meeting with the doctor. Eren vaguely remembered this, and Dr. Smith had said something about it when he first got into hospital. Hopefully he could have a quick chat and he could be sent away. 

Reaching the meeting room, the student held the door open for him and moved to the side so he could enter first. He peered through, looking around. It was a nice room – but he wasn't too concerned whether it was nice or not. There were windows, luckily open and letting the cool breeze in, however visibly locked so no one could fit through. The best thing about it was that they didn't face the forest. Thank God. 

There was a big, wooden desk in the middle of the room facing the windows. Directly in front of the door were a row of chairs lining the back of the desk. Here sat someone he had no clue who they were, and they were tapping away on a laptop. In the middle Dr Smith was sat, offering him a warm but professional smile. And finally next to him was Petra. 

"Ah Eren! Come sit." Dr Smith said softly. 

Cautiously, Eren glanced around before moving over to the chair on the other side of the desk. This made it was more scary for him. The student nurse locked the door behind them before taking a seat near Eren. Out of the way so they could observe, however more on Eren's side than the professionals. This if anything made him feel slightly better. At least it wasn't as if they were ganging up on him. 

"You remember me, yes?" Dr Smith asked. When Eren gave a small nod and the doctor continued. "This here is Ilse, our junior doctor. You know Petra, of course-" She smiled and gave him a soft look. "And this is Mina, our student nurse. Is it okay if she's present?" 

Eren looked over to Mina, frowning ever so slightly. When she gave him a soft but understanding look, he knew immediately that if he said no she would have no problem with leaving. She may be disappointed, but still. She seemed nice, and might be able to help him leave. Nurses had to start somewhere, right? 

"Yeah." Eren nodded, chewing his lip lightly and looking back to Dr. Smith. 

He fiddled with the edges of his sleeves, slinking back into the chair. Trying to hide himself a little more. He didn't like all of these people in here. He didn't know any but Petra, and even then he didn't _know_ her. 

"Thank you." Dr Smith smiled at him. "Now Eren, you've been here what? Five days now?" 

"Four." 

"Yes, four." Dr Smith nodded, looking down to some notes. He frowned slightly in concentration. "How have you found the ward? Are you settling in okay?" He asked, looking back up to Eren. His features turned more professional as he waited for Eren's answer. 

Honestly he didn't know what the doctor was expecting. For Eren to just sing the wards praises? That he felt at home here? Eren was conflicted. He could easily tell them he felt fine. The voices had gone. The men had gone. He'd take his medication. He'd be a good citizen. 

If they wouldn't let him out, that's what he'd do. But the way Petra seemingly cared - he'd be honest for now. 

"Okay." He spoke, Petra giving him a small smile of encouragement. "I don't like it here. I can't sleep." He said slowly, fixating his gaze on a small spot on the carpet. 

"And appetite?" 

"Okay I think." 

"Eren needs to be reminded to eat." Petra contributed softly, looking between the two males. "You tend to get a little lost in your thoughts don't you?" She prompted softly. 

"Yeah." Eren bit his lip, nodding. 

"Okay-" Smith gave a small hum and looked back st him. "So is it just you're thinking about things so you forget to eat or?" He questioned. 

"I guess?" Eren frowned slightly. "It doesn't really cross my mind. I mostly just forget, I guess. The um- the routine helps sometimes but." He shrugged, his eyes flicking to Petra as she wrote on a small notepad. 

He didn't like that. Whatever she was writing - it had to be bad. Surely. 

"And what are your thoughts during the day? Your emotions?" 

Eren paused at that, looking back down to the floor and almost looking like a fish as his mouth opened and closed. Trying to find the right words to explain it. Well, trying to remember really. "It depends on the voices." He told him eventually. 

"So you're still hearing them?" 

"I always hear them." 

"And what are they saying?" 

Eren let out a small breath, gaze glancing between the room. To the clock - he'd only been in here five minutes? Fuck, it felt like at least twenty. And the windows weren't helping. It felt stuffy in here. Far, far too cramped. Eren hated this. Hated the way he could feel his panic slowly rise. Hated how they weren't helping. 

_Don't tell him._

_He won't believe you, Eren. They think you're making it up._

_They need you._

_You're humanities last hope._

The sounds of the junior doctor typing away on the laptop filled the room. Just the sound of the keys, the sound of the clock. The occasional sound of a rustle outside from a nearby bush. It was a bush - far too small to hold a Titan inside. Eren knew that, but the sound still put him on edge. 

He sat there thinking, listening, for a good few minutes. Doctor Smith and Petra were lovely. They waited patiently for him to process his thoughts. To collect them together into words that they'd understand. It wasn't until the sound of the typing stopped that Eren looked up directly at Doctor Smith. It immediately snapped him out of it, pushing the voices to the back of his mind. 

"They tell me how to save everyone." 

Dr Smith gave a small and slow nod. "From the Titans?" 

"Yes." Eren nodded slowly in response to the doctors own nod. Copying his movements a little before looking to Petra. 

It's fine. Petra was here. She was lovely, and she wouldn't be mean to him. Though he half wished they were mean to him. Nice people meant more he had to keep an eye out to protect. He had his family - the few friends he had outside of this place and now those on the ward? He'd have to protect Levi of course. Levi was ill, like Jean said. He wasn't his normal self. Maybe if Levi was better, he'd help him against the Titans. 

"Describe these Titans to me, Eren." Dr Smith requested, linking his hands and resting his elbows on the desk. "Give me a better picture of them." 

Eren narrowed his eyes immediately in suspicion at the other male. Maybe this was a ploy? Maybe he'd laugh at him. "Why?" He asked slowly. 

Dr Smith gave a one shoulder shrug. "I want to know about these Titans and how these men tell you to fight them. It'll give me a better understanding of how you're feeling and the best way to help you." 

"You can help by letting me out." Eren snapped, a frown forming on his features and turning his expression into a glare. A pretty good one, at that. 

"We can't do that." Petra spoke up softly. "You're on section dear remember? For the time being can you tell us about these Titans?" She brought him back to the question, hoping to deter him away from the anger. "As much as you’re willing to give is fine, Eren. " 

Letting out a small, strained breath, Eren rested back in his chair and looked to the floor. He could get hot headed at times. Right now, Eren was very close to breaking. Very close to yelling and screaming and _getting the fuck out of here_. But the little anger course he had had in the past, the things that stuck, are keeping him routed at the moment. That and the fact that Petra had already been shouted at from Levi, and as much as he wanted to have a go at them, he wanted to protect them too. 

"They're different sizes." He started slowly. "Some five metres, ten and fifteen. Apparently some are taller, but I haven't heard much about those." He kept his gaze down, purposely avoiding eye contact. Avoiding their judging stares. "They look like humans but naked and no like, bits." Eren gestured to his own genital regions, pulling a small face. "They all look different but that's the basics." He tried explaining, eventually looking up to meet their eyes. 

He was surprised. Surprised that they were both - they were all listening to him. No judgement on their faces, no boredom present and no rush to leave. They seemed interested, and when he met Petra's eyes she gave him a small smile of encouragement. 

"Okay." Dr Smith nodded slowly in thought, leaning forward. "Now let's try to look at the evidence, okay? You remember you have a history of experiencing psychotic symptoms... which include delusions. Other than the voices... is there any evidence of any fifteen, or even five meter Titans?" Dr Smith spoke slowly, occasionally pausing to find the right words so he didn't offend Eren. Didn't anger him again yet tried to get Eren to challenge the delusions himself. 

And Eren was. He thought for a moment for some evidence. Any evidence. He'd hear them, surely? There are no villages being rampaged and no news coverage. Nothing of the sort. Yet- "The men don't lie." Eren stated firmly, looking up at him directly. "They haven't reached us yet, but they're coming." 

"And where do the Titans come from?" 

Eren shook his head, his leg starting to bounce as he got more stressed. "I can't tell you that." He said, glancing up at the clock. 

"Okay." Dr Smith gave a soft smile, and surprisingly didn't press it. He could tell that Eren was getting antsy and his anxiety was probably rising. This meeting wasn't a psychology session or any therapy. Erwin was simply his consultant. He had to review Eren's progress and his mental state. How he was settling in, how his medication was working, and most importantly if he was getting better. 

They discussed his medication, Petra stating that Eren had refused it the first two days and had taken one yesterday. Erwin stressed that it was important he took it as well as engaging in activities and the nurses on the ward. It took time, weeks and even months, but they had to review how it was working. If in a couple of weeks there was no improvement, they could look at trying a different one. 

Apparently Eren had been put on this specific medication during his previous episode. It was the first antipsychotic that worked for him, and it was possible that a different one simply suited him better. But it was most likely the fact Eren had stopped taking his medication that the voices took over more. That the delusions slowly started coming back. 

After sorting out a plan for Eren to try to do over the next week, he was dismissed. Mina saw him out (honestly he had forgotten she was there) and he thanked her before heading off to his room. After that, he felt a little bit more than drained. He just wanted to sleep. 

_There's not enough time to nap._

_You're wasting time._

 

-x- 

 

Eren once again ended up in the lounge. He had his book back and he had been scribbling away. Lucky enough for his body, he had fallen asleep and had a good half hour nap before waking to the sound of an alarm. It shocked him wide awake. 

From the fact that most of the staff in the office were running out and off the ward, it was safe to assume the attack or whatever it was wasn't on their ward. It mustn't have been anything too serious, and they all came strolling back ten minutes later. 

The brunet was happily left to his own devices after he ward settled. He had been writing for a good two hours. All of the other patients had came back from the activities, and tea was going to be served. The voices told him to continue writing, and he wanted to. But the constant checks from the nurses told him that he really should do something else. 

Slipping his book into his back pocket, he headed into the dining room and waited his turn to get to the trolley. He picked out his meal for the evening – a chicken salad sandwich, an apple and chocolate mouse for pudding. Not something he'd have at home, but food none the less. 

There were multiple tables of four, and seeing as Eren knew nobody, he sat down on a table both out of the way and one that was empty. As he started eating, he tried to ignore the fact that Petra was heading straight in his direction. Tried to pretend that he couldn't see her. Fuck. 

"Eren?" 

Okay. He guessed he'd have to see her now. 

"Hm?" Eren looked up in her direction, noticing a small male slightly behind her. Around her height, a bit taller, but definitely smaller than Eren. 

"I was wondering if you could do a little favour for me?" She asked with a wide smile. Soft, but still a bit too stressed to be fully real. 

"What?" Eren asked cautiously, slowly setting down his sandwich. His eyes darted between her and the male, not sure he was going to enjoy this. 

"This here is Armin." She spoke softly, stepping to the side slightly so he could come forward. "Is it okay if he eats dinner with you?" She asked on Armin's behalf. 

Eren looked over to the blond, taking him in a little bit. He kept his gaze down and he was holding his sandwich close to himself. Eren had been planning on just not making any friends. But one dinner couldn't hurt, right? 

"Okay." Eren nodded, smiling in response to Petra's own soft grin. 

"Wonderful. Thank you." She smiled before turning to Armin. "See, silly? Eren's lovely. I'm sure you'll get on well." She said with a soft hum. 

She left the two boys to it the moment Armin sat down opposite Eren. He set his sandwich down on the table and let out a small breath. Tucking his chair in, he adjusted himself before eventually glancing up to Eren. 

"Hello." He said. 

"Hey." Eren gave a small but soft smile. "I haven't really seen you around here." He commented, watching the blond slowly open his sandwich. 

Armin shook his head and looked up to Eren with a small smile. "No, I tend to try and stay in my room." He admitted. "I don't like coming out here much." 

"Ah, did Petra drag you out?" Eren asked with a small laugh. 

Smiling slightly, Armin nodded. "Yeah, pretty much." He said with a light giggle. "Petra said that you didn't really eat with anyone else?" He asked. 

"Well she dropped me right in that one." Eren joked lightly with a grin. He was relaxing a little more, hoping the blond was too. He could tell he was nervous and tense. The more he spoke, though, the better he was distracted from his thoughts. "Yeah I don't really know anyone. I only know Jean." Eren explained, glancing around the room. 

"That's expected." Armin said with a soft laugh. "Jean's pretty out there. I think everyone knows him." He continued eating slowly. 

"Do you know everyone here?" Eren asked him, tilting his head slightly. 

"Yeah." Armin gave a small smile. "I've been here about two months, so I know everyone here now. Jean's not been in too long. He has Borderline Personality Disorder." Armin told him, frowning in concentration. 

"Ah!" Eren shook his head. "I don't wanna know." He said, shuffling his chair back slightly. 

Armin widened his eyes and froze a little, watching Eren. "Oh- oh I'm sorry." He said quietly, hoping he hadn't offended. 

"I just feel bad." Eren explained, slowly relaxing and shuffling back in. "I feel like I should hear it from them, you know? It's not my business." He mumbled, looking down to his sandwich. 

"That makes sense." Armin's voice sounded, the small smile evident in his tone. "I didn't mean to, sorry. It's good practice for me, though. I wanted to be a doctor before I came in here, so I try and pick up on things." The blond explained. "I have anxiety and OCD." He added quietly, almost like a peace offering. Well at least Eren heard it from his own mouth, right? 

"Oh-" Eren looked up at the new information. Both his diagnosis and the fact he wanted to be a doctor. "What kind of doctor?" 

"I don't know yet." Armin laughed softly. "I was thinking haematology or psychiatry, but-" He shrugged, obviously getting at he couldn't do psychiatry. Though of course he could do if he wanted to. If anything, he'd understand more. 

"You can do whatever you want, I'm sure." Eren said with a small grin. "So what do you think I have, mister doctor man?" 

Armin gave a soft laugh and grinned in reply, relaxing even more around Eren. "I don't know. I haven't seen you much." He admitted with a shrug. "Give me a few days and I'll tell you." He said jokingly. 

Eren laughed softly before eating more of his sandwich. Once he finished and swallowed, he relaxed back. "Well good luck, I don't have a diag-thingy yet." Eren said, waving his free hand about. 

"Oh?" Armin looked across the table. "How come?" He asked politely. 

"Because I'm not ill." Eren said seriously, giving a small shrug. 

Armin just smiled softly and nodded, but didn't press the matter. Which Eren was grateful about. He really, really didn't want to argue with another patient along with members of staff today. 

"So who else is in here?" Eren asked after a few moments pause. 

"Well you know Jean-" Armin started, glancing around. "The small guy is called Connie. I'm not sure what he has either. He's super friendly though." Armin smiled softly. "Then you have Reiner. He's the big blond guy- do you want to know what he has or?" Armin asked him politely. 

Biting his lip lightly, Eren paused before giving a small nod. "Okay." He said quietly. 

"He has PTSD. I think he dissociates a lot. He spends a lot of time with Bertolt who has anxiety like me, but he has social anxiety so I think he has agoraphobia?" Armin hummed, frowning slightly. "Then Marco- you wouldn't have met him." Armin's tone took a more sad type, which Eren didn't like the sound of. "He rarely leaves his bed. He has clinical depression. He's lovely, though. I met him once." He said softly. "Then you have Levi- you've probably met him. He has bipolar, and he's currently in a manic phase." 

Eren took in all the information, processing it all. There were several others – Eren picking up Thomas and possibly someone called Marlowe – but Eren stopped listening after Levi. Armin went on to politely explain that there was a women's ward across the way, them being on the male's ward. However they rarely crossed other than activities. 

But Levi- he was manic? Eren didn't really know what that meant, but it didn't sound very nice. That was probably what Jean meant when he said that he wasn't normally like that. Wasn't himself when he was manic. Eren almost felt sorry for him, but then he remembered how it felt when people told him they felt sorry for _him_. When people didn't believe him – or when he was well and he knew he was ill at times – when people pitied him them. 

Eren could handle it. When he was well, he could keep on top of it. His mental illness didn't define him. It was apart of him and he managed it. He didn't need pity. He did just fine without it. 

"Eren?" 

Armin's voice snapped him back into reality. He soon realised he had been staring at the blond, unintentionally making him uncomfortable. 

"Sorry." He mumbled out, glancing down to his sandwich. "Was in my own world for a minute." Eren said. 

"It's okay." Armin smiled softly. 

They sat in a comfortable silence as they both continued eating. For once, Eren didn't feel so isolated from everyone else. 

"So how old are you?" Eren asked, guessing he was around his own age. He looked young. 

"Twenty." Armin gave a small smile. "You?" He asked, glancing up at the brunet before back down to his area on the table. He felt around his sandwich packet lightly, as if searching for something, before he picked up the packet. Eren assuming he was leaving, was a little shocked when he looked underneath it at the table and felt around. It was clear nothing was there, and once he felt everything completely to confirm this, he put the packet back down. 

Eren watched the ministrations, a confused frown on his face before he slowly spoke. "Twenty three." He told him, shaking his head a little and continuing to eat his own food. "You been in here long?" He asked after swallowing his bite. 

Armin was back relaxing in his seat, shaking his head. "Not really. I've been in here two months month so." He repeated him, eating his own food. 

Pulling a small face, Eren thought about that. A whole month. Eren didn't want to be in here a whole month. He couldn't afford to be in here a whole month. Fuck- what if the Titans came before then? 

While he was lost in his thoughts, Armin repeated his actions from before. Checking around his packet before checking underneath. Making sure to feel around before he was able to relax. It was odd, but Eren didn't question it this moment in time. 

He was a little more concerned about how he was going to manage getting out of here. Getting out of the hospital. He couldn't be kept in here for a month. Fuck - five days had already been far too long. He needed to get out. Needed to warn everyone. Protect everyone. Just do something to try and help. 

"Are you okay?" Armin asked tentatively, snapping Eren back to reality once again. He was spacing out far too often. He'd have to try and stop or else they'd comment on it and try and use it against him. 

"Yeah- yeah." Eren nodded, forcing a smile and opening up his pudding. "Sorry, was just a little distracted." He said, looking down to his food. It wasn't the best, but honestly it wasn't as bad as people made out. Hospital food wasn't too disgusting. 

"It's okay." Armin laughed softly, still sitting on edge but more relaxed than previously. Which if Armin had anxiety and was thrown into this situation, Eren was pleased that he could relax around him. 

Though the blond didn't have any pudding like Eren did, so he was sitting patiently there. Probably just to be polite. Eren was sure he was hoping to get out and go back to his room as quick as possible. 

After a few moments of slightly stressed silence, Armin started checking around again. "What're you doing?" Eren asked with a soft frown, watching the small blond. That was the fifth time he had checked his area of the table. If he was looking for something, he could easily ask Eren to help. Though he didn't exactly know what he was looking for. 

"Hm?" Armin paled slightly and met his gaze. "Oh um, just checking I haven't dropped any food." He explained slightly quieter. 

That made Eren frown in confusion. Armin had finished eating a good ten minutes ago, and since then had checked the table at least twice. Surely Armin didn't think he could spill food just by sitting there? "But you're not eating?" He pointed out a little naively. Just not understanding. 

Biting his lip, the blond fiddled with his hands lightly and shrugged. "I know." He said quietly, starting to scratch lightly at the back of his left hand. "I'm just making sure I haven't spilt anything." 

"Okay." Eren gave a small hum, shrugging slightly before continuing. "So are you like, super smart if you're wanting to be a doctor?" He asked, not pressuring the subject anymore. It was obviously making Armin uncomfortable, and that wasn't his goal here. 

The other male gave a small, thankful smile as he breathed out. He forced his hands on his knees and squeezed lightly, trying to keep them a little occupied so he didn't hurt his hand. "Not super smart but I got good grades." He said with a soft laugh. "Are you at uni?" He asked in return. 

Eren gave a small hum and nodded, grinning lightly at the talk of university. "Yeah. I'm in my last year, I've had to take a year out before because of places like these and it's taking me longer to graduate but. Especially times like now when I need to make sure everyones safe I don't really have time to study." He explained, shoving a large spoonful of chocolate mouse in his mouth. 

"Ah, of course." Armin smiled, understanding the struggles of working alongside having a mental illness. It wasn't the easiest of things, and it was clear to the blond that Eren was ill. "What were you studying?" 

"English literature." Eren responded with a wide grin, relaxing into the conversation. Luckily enough it was distracting him from the voices. From what they were saying and what they were telling him to do. "I much prefer being in other worlds than this one, to be honest. I was thinking of starting my own books, but now isn't a good time. I have other things to concentrate on." 

_People to save._

"Yeah that makes sense." Armin said with an equally wide grin as Eren. He was warming up to the other man. It was an odd place to meet people, in hospital on a ward, but you did make very good friends in these places. It was a place where you knew you were never alone. That you were safe, at least to the blond. Even when socialising was hard, and often threw him into panic attacks, it was times like these that he felt a small wave of victory. Eren was nice, and he was glad that he had let Petra drag him out here. "You'll have to send me a copy if you do write anything." He said with a smile. 

"Yeah." Eren laughed. "If I do." He grinned as he continued eating. 

They fell into a small, comfortable silence as Eren finished his pudding. Armin occasionally checked his area of the table for any spilled food, feeling around for any before relaxing in time. The sound of the other patients moving around filled Eren's ears. Reiner – as Armin pointed him out – came and got some food. Two sandwiches and two puddings before leaving, Armin explaining it was for Bertolt. 

Jean was already in a corner eating some pudding. Eren was a little confused as to why he hadn't came to eat with them, but taking in his appearance, Eren guessed he wasn't in the mood to be around others. He was purposely avoiding eye contact with his hood up and a face like a slapped arse. Eren decided it was best not to bother him. 

The nursing assistant's were coming in and other. The regular half hour checks as well as some just collecting bits and bobs. Doing their jobs. 

Soon enough, Levi came strolling into the dining room, a glare on his features as he scoured the room. He was wearing the same clothes as the other night, and seemed just as skittish and fidgety. Though when their eyes met, Levi sent him a small dirty look before going over to the sandwich trolley. 

"Don't take it to heart." Armin said quietly, catching Eren's attention. "He's always more agitated on ward round days." He explained, Eren nodding in understanding. Even he felt angered by the doctor today. 

Watching the smaller male, Eren couldn't help but follow him with his eyes. Just trying to suss him out really. He was scary – very scary. From shouting to the nurses to the constant pacing. All of the glares and just the way he held himself – Eren didn't want to mess with him. It was clear at times that other patients were annoyed by him. Like when he paces he'd occasionally hear Jean making comments, and he could've sworn he heard that Reiner guy try to send him away from somewhere. Probably Bertolt's room. 

Realising he was spacing out again, when he came to Levi was heading straight towards their table. 

"Everything okay, blondie?" Levi's voice sounded, talking to Armin but keeping his eyes locked with Eren's. 

"Yeah it's fine." Armin replied quietly, hiding his hands under the table and shyly smiling. 

"He isn't bothering you is he?" 

"No not at all." Armin shook his head. Levi looked towards Armin, and Eren could've sworn that he saw his features soften. He almost looked content. Like he wasn't experiencing racing thoughts and confusion. 

"How's your heart?" 

"It's fine, Levi." Armin gave a small awkward laugh. "You ask me that every time." 

"I'm just making sure." Levi snapped. Armin flinched ever so slightly at his tone, but it was out of habit rather than actually being affected by it. He knew deep down that that was how Levi genuinely was. "Can't be too careful with heart shit. Did you know it beats one hundred thousand times a day? I wonder if that includes night too, I haven't really counted. I think you have a few years to go till you get to that many, I know mine does. I counted it myself the other day. Stayed up a whole twelve hours and done it, so I guess twenty four would be double that?" 

"I'm sure it would be." Armin smiled softly and nodded. 

"Huh. I could swear my heart beats faster." Levi commented, crossing his arms and frowning in thought. "Maybe It was having an off day. Stupid fucker always pounds I can hear it- ba-bumb shit you know? That's the valves closing that does that." He nodded as he told them. 

Though Eren couldn't stop the small laugh escaping his lips. He covered his mouth slightly with his hand as he laughed, grinning between the two men. Armin looked a mix of confused and angered by his laughter, assuming he was laughing _at_ Levi. But he wasn't. 

"Something the matter, brat?" Levi snapped at him, Eren's laughter just increasing. "You know I'm a blackbelt in five martial arts-" 

"You said ba-bumb." Eren laughed, grinning as he moved his hand away. "Ba-bumb. Just imagine a heart going ba-bumb- it's like an African drum." He laughed happily, finding the word amusing more than anything. 

"My heart goes ba-bumb." Levi said firmly, though his expression wasn't as harsh. 

"Does it?" Eren asked with a wide grin, his mood lifting slightly after today. "Does it not go lub-dub?" 

"Lub-dub? Who the fucks heart goes lub-dub? That sounds fucking stupid. My heart doesn't go lub-dub." Levi stated, shaking his head as Eren laughed softly. 

"I thought that's what it was called? Lub-dub?" 

"I'm a doctor, I know it doesn't go lub-dub." Levi scoffed, glaring at Eren. 

"You're a doctor?" Eren's eyes widened slightly. 

"Yes-" 

"No." Armin and Levi spoke at the same time, Armin guessing he should intervene slightly. "No Levi isn't a doctor, remember Levi?" He spoke softly. 

"Yes I am." Levi looked to Armin. "I got my certificate and everything. Done my training." Levi nodded with confidence. 

"I thought you were a paramedic?" Armin challenged softly. 

Frowning, Levi looked off to the side in thought. "I don't know- I think?" He said before looking back to Armin. "Yes of course. Paramedic. They're more important than shitty doctors. Ambulance emergency and shit." Levi nodded. 

"Of course." Armin gave a small, soft laugh. 

Eren gave a small 'oo' noise, quite impressed by the fact Levi was a paramedic. Well, he guessed that was the truth seeing as Armin had said it. At this moment in time, he didn't really know what was the truth. "Oh!" Eren jumped slightly, looking up at Levi and gaining his attention. "Did you find your cat?" He asked, if anything unintentionally feeding into Levi's own delusions. He didn't understand. Eren lacked insight into his own mental health never mind everyone else's. 

"My cat? I don't have a cat." Levi frowned. 

"But- but the other night you were looking for it?" Eren frowned, his mood deflating slightly. Surely he couldn't have imagine that too? 

He watched as the raven thought back to the other night. He could practically see the cogs turning in his head as he tried to think, before eventually letting out a small 'ah!'. 

"Yeah." Levi nodded. "I was. I have one but they took it away. Do you think they'd let it back on the ward?" He asked the two of them. 

"I don't think so, Levi." Armin spoke before Eren could get his words in. 

"Oh." 

"I don't see why not." Eren said, frowning slightly. "If they let it on in the first place it might've just been ill?" 

Levi hummed and nodded, looking off to the side again to think. "Yeah. Yeah I think it got stuck and hurt it's paw. That must've been why I couldn't find it. Fuck, I better go ask how it is. Or if I can have it back. It might be better now." Levi nodded, starting to move back to go to the office. 

_An animal would be good._

_Ask for a dog, or a horse. A horse would be easy to get away._

_If he can have a cat you can have one too. Go with him._

"Levi wait-" Eren jumped up and shuffled after him. "Do you think they'd let me have a horse?" 

"A horse?" 

"A horse." Eren nodded. 

"No Eren-" Armin stood up, watching the two other men walk off and out of the dining room. All he could hear was the distant voice of Levi stating 'why the fuck not'. 

Armin wanted to run after him, he did. Stop them before they got to the office, but he couldn't. Groaning, the blond rushed as he tried to clear up all of their rubbish on the table before feeling it to make sure he got every last bit. 

Great. He fucked that one right up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and there we have it! yes, i made Armin have OCD and not Levi. I wanted to stay away from predictably giving Levi OCD. I think he'd have ocd like tendencies but I wanted to show him with another illness and in a totally different way.
> 
> hope you enjoyed reading!:)

**Author's Note:**

> ahah this fic isn't going to be too angsty, i do want them to be happy in the end,,
> 
> i'm studying to be a mental health nurse and i'm basing this a lot off the ward i was recently working on
> 
> hope you enjoyed! please comment :)


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